Friday, October 31, 2008

Hot Joaquin Quits!

unbelievable! Joaquin is quitting film to take up music. Read about it here!

In this regard he is more like the real life Johnny Cash whom he portrayed.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Talk The Vote - Minnesota!

We can win! This event last night told us that we are still within striking distance and that we must not give up! It was a beautiful night in a purple state where the purple bled only into red! See more about it here.

It was The Three Tenors of conservative talk radio: Hugh hewitt, Michael Medved and Dennis Prager. James Lileks opened the evening talking about how much hope there is. Hugh Hewitt was next, followed by a host of candidates including Norm Coleman, Michele Bachmann, Barb Davis White and Erik Paulsen. Michael Medved was next, followed by Prager, who brought governor Tim Pawlenty with him.

It was a great night and we all went away feeling great hope, pride and were reinforced in our values.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Oh Well!

I thought that sleep was returning, but last night I had a freak night where I had to take out the old medication again and this morning was terrible - all groggy from too much meds.

But I'm in process. The Holy Spirit is revealing the condition of my deepest heart, which though it has been hurt in the past, just isn't right yet. The things that God is revealing are so heavy that I feel overwhelmed and feel that until this time of change is over, I need to use medication to cope.

It's as if the Holy Spirit is forcing my heart to total honesty, and bringing out nastiness that is very unpleasant to experience - reactions that I don't want to have but can't help.

It all comes from years of seeking love in "all the wrong places" while not seeing that God is the source, and following after idols. And now the trick is to get the love of God to go in and heal the soul.

But the question is this - have you ever asked this question? Where do I go to get God's love?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

It's working! (2)

My communion taking and repenting - it's having an effect. My sleep is returning, even while we're all still worried about the elections, I have peace enough to sleep, although I have been waking in the night, thinking about things like, "what if Sharia law is forced on us because Obama ushers in the acceptance of Islam?" things like that, but then I go back to sleep. Whatever mania was setting in has stopped. I'm back on low doses of medication - just 50 mg of Topamax and 1.5 mg of Risperdal.

With cleansing in my soul from unforgiveness and bitterness, there's no telling the ultimate effect it will have. I expect to have more energy, and maybe go off medication altogether. Reading a chapter a day of the New Testament to my dad has sure helped a lot.

Obama and Star Wars

I just found this video on Livingsword's blog. He is a Canadian who did a post that reveals his love for the U.S. - and you must read it! He also put some videos on there about Obama and McCain that are really funny, including this one.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Obama's Ideal Halloween

I shamelessly stole this from guitarman! Sorry!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

New Financial Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my financial advisor has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Former investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

SAFETY NET - Something that doesn't work that the government buys with your money.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I said "sorry" to Penny

Dear Penny,

Hi. I am in Beth Moore's study "Breaking Free" and in one chapter, she confirms what you said about prejudice - she says it is more prevalent in the church! Just what should not be, as I think it is the church that moved forward and was the impetus to end slavery, etc.

I think it means there is an abundance of hypocrites, because the believers who are in a deeper relationship with God are not prejudiced. Regardless, this is a shocker!

She said that she has been through abuse in her past (rape?), and that it helped to have people come up and just say to her, "I am so sorry this happened to you." She said we should do that with people, and got into talking about how white people have come to a place, being in the third and fourth generations since slavery, where the need has come to deal with the wounds that black people still have from the past. We have inherited that responsibility even if our ancestors were poor too and were not slave owners. I have thought of that before, but with her admonition, I thought of saying some things to you.

I just want you to know that I am sorry for the degrading beginnings for black people in America. I am sorry for the slavery. I am sorry for the abuse, and the slander, the murder and the terror.

I am sorry for any pain that you have endured as a black person because of unkind attitudes, behavior or words of white people who 'had it in for you' because you are black.

If there are wounds left because of your journey in America as a black person, I pray that those wounds will be fully healed and that you will find the power to forgive and receive from Jesus all the grace and love you need in life, to live the life you desire.

I pray that I can do my part to mend the breach and heal the wounds.

In Christ's love,


Penny wrote back:

That is really sweet. I don't hold any white person accountable for the sins of their fathers and I hope no one holds me accountable for anything my ancestors may have done. But it means a lot that you would be caring enough to say that. As a result of slavery I am probaly as much white as I am black, native american, african, and everything else. So for a black person to be predjudiced is ignorant anyway as they woud have to hate themselves. If we are all descendants of Adam & Eve then we are brothers...all of us with inherited sin. I had my DBA done by National geographic for teh Genome project where they trace your deeo ancestry and it came us as heplagroup "W" which is rare. Its Eurasian, which I had never heard of. I am a descendant fo one of the orginal founder lines of the Ashkenazi Jews (non european) which can be narrowed down to one of 4 women. (That blew my mind). There are a lot of people groups in my mix. I joined a website for my heplagroup and most are European and all have a lot of my genetic markers but one woman matches me almost completely as we have all the same markers almost and she is in the Netherlands. She is a naturakl blond with blue eyes but has natural dark olive skin. (unusual for a blond). So I am just a mutt :-) and and I embrace all of the people groups in and out of my direct lineage.
I am deeply disturbed by racism in the church, and think we shoudl all reach out more to people who don't look like us. Tha's why I love V.O.M.
There are white people who suffered and were persecuted because they stood up and helped slaves and many of their stories are hidden under all the bad things. A true black history month would include them also. Many were secretely helping in the underground railroad and are annomyous.

I like Beth Moore but have not yet taken a course of hers....though my church has had several (at times/dates I was working). I love Kay Authur and have gone to tenn for a weeks class at her center in Chattanooga. Because I have no immediate family and my mom died when I was 11 God has always put strong women in my path. Some were strangers who had a profound impact. I paid about $400 for the Precepts class at Kay Arthurs institute...that included class for a week, room and board and 3 meals a day. (3 glorious meals :-) It was a nice time.

I really like you Gabrielle.... (but I still like Joe Biden better than Sarah Palin:-) I actually like McCain (just not for president). I think he is quite a different man from what the Republican party has made him promote himself as in this election. I just don't see any benefit or hope for the poor, or middle class with that ticket. I did vote for Bush last election (only due to the Live Birth bill and the fact that he is the only one who publicly professed Jesus Christ. I don't liek either Democratic or Republican party to be honest as neither are Christian, and both self serving. Hillary was just as nasty as McCain in bringing out the worst racism in her campaign and in promoting fear. I am changing my party to independant. I have no faith in any politician. I did not want you to think that I loved you any less just because we look at see some things differently. I lost $25,000 from my 401k so far (in 2 weeks)...but after seeing the suffering all over in the underground church I am not fretting over it as God is my refuge and shelter so whatever comes...comes.

I just arrived at work. I did a V.O.M. presentation at a small church in Queens Sunday night. It was such a Spirit filled little church. I loved it. I am going to speak at a Spanish Pentecostal Church on the 19th so pray for that event.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

One minute each night

This is an email sent to me.
This is the scariest election we as Christians have ever faced and from
looks of the polls, the Christians aren't
voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees.

Do you believe we can take God at His word? 2 Chronicles 7:14 says: If
people who are called by My name will humble
themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways,

then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive
their sin and will heal their land.'

During WWII, there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of

people who dropped what they were doing every
night at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the
safety of England, its people and peace.
This had an amazing effect - as bombing stopped. There is now a group
people organizing the same thing here in
America. The United States of America and our citizens need prayer more

than ever!!!

If you would like to participate:
Each evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM
6:00 PM Pacific, 3:00PM Hawaiian time), stop
whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of
United States, our troops, our citizens, for
peace in the world, the up-coming election, and that the Bible will
be the basis for the laws governing our land
and that Christianity will grow in the U.S.

If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this
Someone said if people really understood the
full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be
speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful
asset we have.

Monday, October 20, 2008

He Said 'Bind Up the Brokenhearted'

In my quest for deliverance from an unforgiving heart, God has shown me something. he has shown me that he did not come to condemn the unforgiving, but to bind up the brokenhearted. That's what it says in Isaiah 61, the passage that Jesus read when he started his ministry. So, when we see an unforgiving heart, we are not to condemn them for not forgiving but to look beyond to the hurt that causes them to find it hard to forgive. God has said to me, "you have been hurt," in my effort to understand why I find more bitterness in me.

This is by no means an excuse for not forgiving. I want to, need to forgive. But I am powerless to truly be cleansed, and look to Jesus and his blood to cleanse me.

I can't forget what a lady at the Toronto church told me. She said that no one can love or minister except through the lover. Children are born because the bride spends time with her lover in the bedroom, being made love to by her lover. So it is with us and God. We must be loved by God before we can love. That is the problem I have been having. I am not in a place where revival is happening, where people know revival power and where I can soak up the power of God, so I can drink in His love. So, I languish for want of His love.

I do the best I can with reading His word and being in His presence in my home, and taking communion for my sins.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Beth Moore on Prejudice

I'm in her study on Breaking Free and we came to the chapter dealing with Prejudice. She says that the church has more prejudice than anywhere else, just what Penny said. Ugh! I don't know why. It's one of those things that should not be, but is.

Beth Moore said that she has had abuse in her past and it helped when people came up to her and said they were so sorry for what happened in her past. She suggested that we do the same for people who have been wronged, such as black people. Since the 'sins of the fathers are visited on the third and fourth generations,' it could be that the sins of the slave owners have come down to us, collectively, since many of us don't have slave owners in our family tree, but collectively as white people. And because of this problem, we may have reaped in the form of Obama, someone who has problems with race and could start a race war in the U.S.

One thing we could do is try to let black people, such as Penny, know that we are sorry for the wrongs that they have experienced as black people. I don't know what good it will do, but we can try. I am going to try.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Raisin' McCain!

by John Rich

I'm playing this in celebration of the fact that people seem to be warming towards him again! I called for the Republicans last night and the response was pretty good to the question, "can we count on your vote?"

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ten Commandments - Minnesota Style

1. Der's only one God, ya know.
2. Don't make that fish on your mantle an idol.
3. Cussing ain't Minnesota nice.
4. Go to church even when you're up nort.
5. Honor your folks.
6. Don't kill. Catch and release.
7. There is only one Lena for every Ole. No cheatin'.
8. If it ain't your lutefisk, don't take it.
9. Don't be braggin' about how much snow ya shoveled.
10. Keep your mind off your neighbor's hotdish.

Last McCain-Obama Debate

I got very upset and had a hard time sleeping, because I could see Obama had the people in his grip. I listened to Hugh Hewitt talking with James Lileks (Mpls StarTribune columnist) afterwards and Lileks said that it doesn't matter what Obama's policies are, or what he's going to do to the economy, people just "want this."

It's like the whole country has taken to gambling. People are nuts! It's a downhill slide! It's a disaster! But people are willing to gamble, because they believe that what's happening now is the fault of the current president - that's that. People want a change, but hey(!) all a baby needs is a change! And they totally expect the same from McCain.

By the way, I sat with James Lileks at the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers party at Keegans pub in downtown Minneapolis in the summer of 2007, not knowing what illustrious company I was sitting with. He just sat there smoking a clove cigarette, or something, and I didn't notice that he was so brilliant.

Read results of debate here.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Donald Braswell's Testimony

They showed this in church Sunday, in the charismatic church that I visit when I steal away from my parents' church. The pastor used it to illustrate his sermon on God giving you beauty for ashes, asking us to give God the ashes of our lives so he can give us beauty. He told us after showing this video "keep on singing." I was in tears.

Obama's associations with bad people ought to matter

by Charles Krauthammer This is from the Mpls StarTribune and starts out by saying:

Until now. Today, on the threshold of the presidency, Obama concedes the odiousness of these associations, which is why he has severed them. But for the years in which he sat in Wright's pews and shared common purpose on boards with Ayers, Obama considered them a legitimate, indeed unremarkable, part of social discourse.

Do you? Obama is a man of first-class intellect and first-class temperament. But his character remains highly suspect. There is a difference between temperament and character.

Read the rest of the article here.

Important to note that Krauthammer is an invalid in a wheelchair who writes for the Washington Post. He has certainly made something of his infirmity. I believe he is also a Jew, but I'm just guessing.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Prayer For America and the destitute

Father God, touch those who are in trouble - touch the rich who are out of touch and go on lavish, indulgent vacations when they are being baled out of bankruptcy
-touch the poor who are at their wits end
-touch the hurting who are bitter and who do not know how to forgive
-give us the grace to understand the Lord's prayer which says "give us this day our daily bread," and "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors," and "lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil!"
-help us to turn to you with our whole hearts and find times of refreshing from heaven

What is the $700 Billion Bailout being spent on?

The Onion comes through again with this hilarious spoof!

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

With no hesitation or second thoughts, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I sto od on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Research on Obama's past

This is an email I got from a friend.

Worth reading and considering.

This letter is from a friend of ours who we believe wrote this with
concern. Both Jan and I think it is important to send this on so anyone
that is open to ideas and wants what is best for our country can have
information to use when making up their mind regarding who to vote for.
This is not a political slant, but a REAL person doing research on an
individual who will be in charge of our country. Just read it and make
your own decisions.

To All My Friends, this is long, but very important, please take the
to read it.

This election has me very worried. So many things to consider. About
year ago I would have voted for Obama. I have changed my mind three
since than. I watch all the news channels, jumping from one to
another. I
must say this drives my husband crazy. But, I feel if you view MSNBC,
CNN, and Fox News, you might get some middle ground to work with.
six months ago, I started thinking 'where did the money come from for
Obama'. I have four daughters who went to College, and we were middle
class, and money was tight. We (including my girls) worked hard and
were lots of student loans.

I started looking into Obama's life.

Around 1979 Obama started college at Occidental in California. He is
open about his two years at Occidental, he tried all kinds of drugs and
wasting his time but, even though he had a brilliant mind, did not
himself to his studies. 'Barry' (that was the name he used all his
during this time had two roommates, Muhammad Hasan Chandoo and Wahid
both from Pakistan.
During the summer of 1981, after his second year in college, he made
'round the world' trip.
Stopping to see his mother in Indonesia, next Hyderabad in India,
weeks in Karachi, Pakistan where he stayed with his roommate's family,
off to Africa to visit his father's family. My question - Where did he
the money for this trip? Nether I, nor any one of my children would
had money for a trip like this when they where in college. When he
back he started school at Columbia University in New York. It is at
time he wants everyone
to call him Barack - not Barry. Do you know what the tuition is at
Columbia? It's not cheap to say the
least! Where did he get money for tuition? Student
Loans? Maybe. After Columbia, he went to Chicago to work as a
Organizer for $12,000 a year. Why Chicago?
Why not New York? He was already living in New York.
By 'chance' he met Antoin 'Tony' Rezko, born in Aleppo Syria, and a
estate developer in Chicago. Rezko has been convicted of fraud and
this year. Rezko, was named 'Entrepreneur of the Decade' by the
Arab-American Business and Professional Association'. About two years
later, Obama entered Harvard Law School. Do you have any idea what
is for Harvard Law School? Where did he get the money for Law School?
More student loans? After Law school, he went back to Chicago. Rezko
offered him a job, which he turned down. But, he did take a job with
Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland. Guess what? They represented
which is Rezko's firm. Rezko was one of Obama's first major financial
contributors when he ran for office in Chicago. In 2003, Rezko threw
early fundraiser for Obama which Chicago Tribune reporter David
claims was instrumental in providing Obama with 'seed money' for his
Senate race.
In 2005, Obama purchased a new home in Kenwoood District of Chicago
$1.65 million (less than asking price).
With ALL those Student Loans - Where did he get the money for the
property? On the same day Rezko's wife, Rita, purchased the adjoining
empty lot for full price. The London Times reported that Nadhmi Auchi,
Iraqi-born Billionaire loaned Rezko $3.5 million three weeks before
new home was purchased. Obama met Nadhmi Auchi many times with Rezko.

Now, we have Obama running for President. Valerie Jarrett, was
Obama's boss. She is now Obama's chief advisor and he does not make
major decisions without talking to her first. Where was Jarrett born?
Ready for this? Shiraz, Iran! Do we see a pattern here? Or am I going

On May 10, 2008 The Times reported, Robert Malley, advisor to Obama,
'sacked' after the press found out he was having regular contacts with
'Hamas', which controls Gaza and is connected with Iran. This past
buried in the back part of the papers, Iraqi newspapers reported that
during Obama's visit to Iraq, he asked their leaders to do nothing
the war until after he is elected, and he will 'Take care of things'.

Oh, and by the way, remember the college roommates that where born in
Pakistan? They are in charge of all those 'small' Internet campaign
contributions for Obama.
Where is that money coming from? The poor and middle class in this
country? Or could it be from the Middle East?

And the final bit of news. On September 7, 2008, The Washington Times
posted a verbal slip that was made on 'This Week' with George
Stephanapoulos. Obama on talking about his religion said, 'My Muslim
When questioned, 'he made a mistake'. Some mistake!

All of the above information I got on line. If you would like to
it - Wikipedia, encyclopedia, Barack Obama; Tony Rezko; Valerie
Daily Times - Obama visited Pakistan in 1981; The Washington Times -
September 7, 2008; The Times May 10, 2008.

Now the BIG question - If I found out all this information on my own,
haven't all of our 'intelligent'
members of the press been reporting this?

A phrase that keeps ringing in my ear - 'Beware of the enemy from

Monday, October 13, 2008

Passion of the Christ and 'Amazed'

by Desperation Band and Jared Anderson

Hear Us From Heaven

Here is an interesting video project by young Christians against abortion. The song is by Jared Anderson.

"For many Jews, Obama anxiety is no cause for jokes"

By Anat Hakim

This is a unique article as well, from the Minneapolis/St. Paul StarTribune. A thirtysomething Jew says that something isn't right about Obama.

"Joe Biden Has Trouble With The Truth" by Jay Ambrose

This article says the things that I suspected were true when watching the debate. The subtitle reads: "The media cuts him slack for being affable. Meanwhile, he makes assertions that are astonishingly incorrect." This is a unique article from the Minneapolis/St Paul StarTribune.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

McCain in Minnesota

In this article, it tells about McCain's recent townhall meeting in Lakeville, MN South High School. I wasn't able to attend because of work, but I am glad to know that I am surrounded by people who feel strongly about Obama - that he is bad news. Now I understand that such negative reactions and saying "off with his head" are not godly ways of dealing with the problem, but I'm just saying it's good to know I'm not alone in having trepidations.

McCain handled it very well - showing that he's not playing dirty, that he wants to be civil.

Notice in the article, after the lady says she heard Obama was an Arab, and McCain takes the mic and says, "no, he's a decent family man," the guy writing the article inserts, Obama is a Christian.

Oh, my jaw dropped! No, he is not! Just because he says so? What he was learning at that church with Jeremiah Wright was not Christ. He has never worshiped Christ out of a heart of love. Will people see that?

I don't think he's a decent family man, either, but McCain was trying to be civil.

The Story of Bill Ayers

You've got to read this, and read about Obama's dirty past.

Glorified-Jared Anderson

They did this one in church today!

Anderson is (or was) a worship leader at Ted Haggard's church in Colorado. Interesting that such anointed music would be found in a place with such spiritual warfare surrounding it. I have been so touched by songs by him such as "Amazed" and "Rescue."

Saturday, October 11, 2008

10 Reasons You're Not Rich

I just thought this was interesting, to get some wisdom on what makes people rich, and to find where I fall short.

Freedom's Journal Magazine

I am so excited about this! It's a magazine by black conservatives on issues such as abortion and governmental control - all the things that conservatives are concerned about. It refutes the notion that all blacks are liberal. I found out about it on Michael Medved's talk show. Check it out!

Michael had a guest host taking over in his place because he was observing some Jewish holy days, and the guy was a black pastor who was not for Obama, and was talking about his stand on abortion. It was so refreshing. He had a guy call in who is responsible for this magazine. It means they are people who are for McCain and don't cry "racism" every time Obama is criticized.


For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2008:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge to become Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become Poly, Warner, Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Good Year and become MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become ZipAudiDoDa

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become Knott NOW!

And finally....

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name Titty Titty Bang Bang.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Daily Bread - Psalm 107

1 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy,
3 And gathered out of the lands,
From the east and from the west,
From the north and from the south.

4 They wandered in the wilderness in a desolate way;
They found no city to dwell in.
5 Hungry and thirsty,
Their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And He led them forth by the right way,
That they might go to a city for a dwelling place.
8 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness.

10 Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in affliction and irons—
11 Because they rebelled against the words of God,
And despised the counsel of the Most High,
12 Therefore He brought down their heart with labor;
They fell down, and there was none to help.
13 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
And broke their chains in pieces.
15 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
16 For He has broken the gates of bronze,
And cut the bars of iron in two.

17 Fools, because of their transgression,
And because of their iniquities, were afflicted.
18 Their soul abhorred all manner of food,
And they drew near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
20 He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
21 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
22 Let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving,
And declare His works with rejoicing.

23 Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters,
24 They see the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
25 For He commands and raises the stormy wind,
Which lifts up the waves of the sea.
26 They mount up to the heavens,
They go down again to the depths;
Their soul melts because of trouble.
27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man,
And are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brings them out of their distresses.
29 He calms the storm,
So that its waves are still.
30 Then they are glad because they are quiet;
So He guides them to their desired haven.
31 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
32 Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
And praise Him in the company of the elders.

33 He turns rivers into a wilderness,
And the watersprings into dry ground;
34 A fruitful land into barrenness,
For the wickedness of those who dwell in it.
35 He turns a wilderness into pools of water,
And dry land into watersprings.
36 There He makes the hungry dwell,
That they may establish a city for a dwelling place,
37 And sow fields and plant vineyards,
That they may yield a fruitful harvest.
38 He also blesses them, and they multiply greatly;
And He does not let their cattle decrease.

39 When they are diminished and brought low
Through oppression, affliction, and sorrow,
40 He pours contempt on princes,
And causes them to wander in the wilderness where there is no way;
41 Yet He sets the poor on high, far from affliction,
And makes their families like a flock.
42 The righteous see it and rejoice,
And all iniquity stops its mouth.

43 Whoever is wise will observe these things,
And they will understand the lovingkindness of the LORD.

This is a Psalm for those who are in trouble. I put parts of this Psalm on the cell phone of a guy who I met who I had started a romantic relationship with. I purposely put those scriptures up between the two of us. He left me a message saying, "why did you do that?" He was drunk, he was getting all upset over those scriptures. It was affecting him. We never know the power of God's word!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

McCain-Obama Debate October 7, 2008

I thought McCain did an excellent job. His answers were sane and direct. He made sense. Obama didn't answer questions and he kept trying to go on and respond when he wasn't supposed to. He didn't make sense. He would make very clear how he would supercede McCain on certain issues, however.

But overall, me and my mom couldn't understand how anyone could help but feel that McCain would give one the most confidence as a leader.

McCain touches my heart when he says, "we must not have another Holocaust." I can tell that Obama doesn't care about that. I just don't feel that he cares about the nations, or about us. I also can tell that he has an agenda of control. If he gets in, look out!

Re: Islamic takeover. Put that together with Obama as president and you have a recipe for disaster!

Read an interesting blog post about debate here.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Islamic Takeover of U.S.

Islamic takeover of U.S. already under way
Expert warns 'mainstream media' providing 'talking points' of Arab countries

Posted: October 03, 2008
8:31 pm Eastern

© 2008 WorldNetDaily

An expert on terrorism is warning the United States should be fighting Islamization, which she believes already is under way. And author Brigitte Gabriel should know: She watched it happen in her native Lebanon.

"Lebanon used to be the only majority Christian country in the Middle East," Gabriel told radio talk show host Andrea Shea King in a recent hour-long interview. "Most people today do not know that. We were the majority, the Muslims were the minority, but as the years went by, the Muslims became the majority because of their birth rate, but also because of our open-border policy.

"We welcomed everyone into our country," Gabriel said, and people didn't realize that the "minority," the Muslims in the society, "was not tolerant" and "did not believe all people were equal."

"They tried to impose their way of thinking on us, and they succeeded," she said.

The result, Gabriel said, was that a radical terrorist organization tied to Islam, Hezbollah, now rules in Lebanon.

As WND reported, Gabriel is fearful that terrorists believe now is the time to strike at America, while it is distracted by financial tension and election turmoil. She expressed the concerns during an interview with KSFO's Barbara Simpson, when she also discussed her new book, "They Must Be Stopped: Why We Must Defeat Radical Islam and How We Can Do It."

Gabriel's new interview with King is available on BlogTalkRadio.

She noted it's been seven years since the Sept. 11, 2001, act of war on U.S. soil by Islamists, but America is falling to Islam's attack, and the battle already is far advanced.

"They do not need to fire a single bullet to destroy us," she said. "They are taking over our country culturally, just like they have taken over Europe."

She said Islam is being taught across the U.S. as part of world history courses for seventh graders.

"A three-week course is teaching students to memorize and recite Islamic prayers and verses from the Quran," she said. "Students have to adopt Islamic names, fast for a day to experience Ramadan, the holiest of Islamic religious holidays, and write about their experience as a Muslim at the end of the program. The exercises during the class include encouraging students to incorporate Arabic phrases such as Allahu Akbar in their speeches, and for students to imagine they were meeting disciples on a pilgrimage to Mecca. This is a state-approved curriculum, using state-adopted textbooks that have been part of the instructional program in California for over a decade."

WND reported this week that a new study shows U.S. textbooks provide "information" such as that Jesus was a Palestinian and the nation of Israel imposes terrorism on others but is not a victim a terrorism.

"Now it is being rolled out nationwide. One book I discuss in particular is 'Across the Centuries,' published by Houghton Mifflin. The Muslim Council on Education has been busy working with the State Department of Education and America's top three publishers who …are literally rewriting history," Gabriel said.

"'Across the Centuries' is a staple in the State of California. This textbook is at best, a well of misinformation. It is 558 pages long and covers the 1500 years from the fall of the Roman Empire and the French Revolution. The text includes 55 pages devoted to Islam, seven pages noting the Middle Ages in Europe, and six pages of Christian history. The chapter on the Byzantine Empire received only six pages. The chapter on Islam accounts for 10 percent of the text, while Christianity and Judaism are almost entirely absent," she said.

"This is public education approved by the State Board of Education nationwide! Our students are being indoctrinated into Islam in our public schools and we don't even have a clue! How can this be allowed to be taught in public schools in America? Most people do not know about it because it is flying under the radar!" she said.

At the university level it's worse, she said.

"What's been happening for the last 16 years, Saudi Arabia and the Gulf states ... because of the money coming from the oil, they have been pumping millions of dollars into our universities appointing Arab professors who are anti-American, anti-Israel, who have been basically brain-washing our students into believe we are the problem," she said.

"The children, who have been educated in American universities for the last 16 years, have graduated and are now working ... not influenced ... by our patriotic education as Americans, but they have been influenced by Arab thinking ... [and] hatred based on revenge," she said.

"The writing is on the wall. Who would have thought that Shariah would come to Harvard University with regulated women-only gym hours? That an imam in Des Moines, Iowa, gave an opening prayer at the 2007 Iowa Legislature's opening session in which he called on Allah to give victory over those who disbelieve? Muslim taxi drivers in Minnesota who refuse to pick up passengers carrying alcohol? The first Islamic public school, the Kahlil Gibran Academy, that opened in 2007, funded by tax dollars! American colleges designating Islamic prayer rooms on campus for use by Muslims only!" Gabriel said.

"Those of us who come from the Middle East and see what's happening in the U.S. ... shake our heads in amazement," she said, calling her book a warning. "We are coming up to a very important election. This is the time we need to understand what is at stake, why our voice counts, why we need to go out and vote. This is the time to make a difference before it is too late," she said.

She said that's why besides her book, she's launched the website.

"We launched this out of American Congress for Truth as our activism and political lobbying arm because I realized talking by itself is only wasting hot air and is entertainment. Action is the only way that's going to make a difference," she said. "History reveals that the apathetic give way to the passionate, the complacent are subdued by the committed. ACT for is mobilizing people all over the country and giving them the tools to resist the Islamic infiltration in our society on every level: schools, governments, universities and corporations.

"Our work is vital in educating the American public about what is happening behind the scenes," she said.

"I encourage people to go to our website Act for I know we have citizen action training seminars coming up in Kansas City and in Indianapolis within the next two weeks. Sign up and attend them if you are in those areas. And check where we have chapters across the country and either join a chapter, or if there's no chapter in your community, sign up to lead one. Organized power at the grass roots level trumps the voices of political correctness," Gabriel said.

"The radical Islamists promised to destroy us, and as you know from the recent war in Lebanon, that country is now nearly Islamic," she said.

Penny sent this to me, and said: "I wanted to share this email I received today. Scary but true. I am praying for a way to reach out to Muslims with the Love of Jesus Christ. I m praying for balance and not to hate them as them."

Dealing With Besetting Sin

I said that I was taking communion and coping with sin and it was working, however, it's not so simple. I dealt with this before with sexual sin. I realize now that I am dealing once again, with a besetting sin. This is so difficult. When you come to a besetting sin, you have to be relentless. Once again I realize that what I have always done is control myself, and have been so good at control that I have missed seeing my sin. Somehow I have kept things under wrap, have concealed the sin and kept it under control, while the unforgiveness and bitterness has stayed beneath the surface.

This was my problem with sexual sin. It never raged out of control, but I never got a victory, until I got a victory through the blood of Jesus, and nothing else.

You have to be relentless, not in your self control, but in coming to Jesus and insisting that you know that the sin has not broken in your life, but that you want it to be broken. I now understand that the feelings of deadness and lifelessness inside, the dragging myself through life is because of carrying a weight of this sin.

Yet, am I able to change this? No. When you deal with besetting sin you realize that you are in a prison. There you are. You are helpless. You are in chains. You cannot free yourself. Only Jesus blood can break the chains, and it isn't happening right away and you are getting scared wondering when and if it will happen and you have to persist in faith. You must persist, you must believe. It will change. You keep taking the body and blood (any piece of bread, any piece of cracker, any sip of juice or even water will do,) and you keep relentlessly asking God to break the power of the sin, even while you know you haven't yet changed.

This really works! That's why the Word says, "if the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed!"

It's good to pray with others too, confessing your sin to them, but sometimes others don't recognize the urgency of the problem or the intensity of the problem or want to be burdened with your sense of urgency and so the only one you feel you can go to with that is God. You can do that!

Penny & I again

I wrote: "What do you think of Sarah Palin?

Penny wrote:

I think Sarah Palin is little more than a cheerleader for the Republican party. She basically was hired to get the crowd hyped. I am an admirer of Biden. He is the one who authored the laws we currently have protecting women from abuse. He also is very open and honest, and not a man of pretense of mere acting. I love the way he rode the train home every day fron D.C. to Delaware to be with his boys rather than stay in D.C. I like it that he is so passionate about his convictions that he will get emotional occasionally. I love it that he has more experiance and seniority than anybody in congress and would be ready to assune the presidency if something happened to Obama. Biden makes up in areas where Obama is less experianced.

MCCain didn't even know Spain was in Europe...thought it was in Latin America (did you see that interexchange between him and a reporter?)One of McCain's closesteconomic advisors (former Texas senator Phil Gramm authored the deregulation that caused this blatent arrogance and abuse of power that has our country in this crisis now.

Like most people I cringe when Palin takes the stage...hoping she doesn't humiliate herself. She is a pretty woman, and Iike the fact that she has religious convictions but she is allowing herself to be used like a pawn and she is way over her head and out of her league. It's an insult to women in general to use her in this way but particularily to the sharp, politically savy republican women that McCain could've choosen. It was not merely irresponsible but reckless to choose a running mate that you have met only once, never vetted, and know little about.

Sadly I think both McCain and Palin were good people prior to this presidential race. They have been groomed to win at all costs and stoop to any level. The party can't even trust Palin to do an interview except for carefully rehearsed talking points and she is not allowed to veer off those things in which she has been taught in a crash a parrot.

Basically everyone who votes for McCain that is poor or middle class is only harming themselves.

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth, but the word of our God shall stand forever. Isaiah 40:8

I wrote back:

I'm definitely behind Palin. I think she's not only beautiful, she's competent, intelligent and trustworthy. And she stands for the things I believe in. I hope you enjoy my essay. (I sent the essay on Black People)

Penny wrote back:

That's an interesting perspective.

About Palin..... you can't be serious. A friend of mine that was a senator and head of the black caucus one told me politics really has nothing to do with who you are or what you do...but public perception. I think to even suggest Palin be put in a position where she could feasibly be president of the free world is preposterous. Because a woman is likable and has good showmanship does make for a world leader. This is not a typical executive job...this is the highest, most important job in the world. She is a joke...even the republican base cringes when she steps up and many have quietly calling for her to voluntarily step down. (Its too late to replace her now).

Gabrielle...this is America. We have an abundance of intelligent qualified people with morals and values. The day that someone like Palin can sashay her way into the presidency is a sad day indeed and brings us to a new low. We are the butt of ridicule already by intellectuals.

We must look deeper than what the spin masters give us and look at what we are really dealing with. She is a professing Christian which I cannot dispute or confirm, but she has no problem lying and fabricating her record, or changing positions when its profitable. That is not what I stand for or believe in. She has no problem taking a lie and spinning it when she is instructed to.

Have you actually looked at anything the Republican party has been feeding us and compared it to the actual truth, or to the record?

Hillary was very popular due to uneducated poor people liking her. Even in Ohio and states that NAFTA would hurt the most they ignorantly bought her bill of goods. Bill Clinton is the original author of NAFTA and Hillary not only supported it originally but her campaign strategist was caught negotiating it while she was speaking against it. It's a insult to manipulate people like that while at the same time screwing them out of their future. McCain had to fire that duchess from his campaign for referring to them as "rednecks" in a speech. These are the same people Republicans are trying to woe with Palin. Except with Palin they feel it will pacify Christians. I am sick and tired of Christianity being prostituted and I don;t think Christians should endorse any political party....however I do believe we should be involved in the political process when our rights are being violated.

Dobson has gone entirely too far and I have lost all respect for him and will not support him anymore for how that Republican rally he sponsored was selling Obama Pancake mix with Obama wearing a Muslim hat on one side of the box, and saying point to Mecca for better taste or something. There was also a racial slur toward the Spanish on the back also....something about immigration and heading to the border.
Evangelicals are some of the most racist people in America. Even the seminaries are racist (Bob Jones Univ. a case study in racism). Ryrie of whom the Ryrie study Bible is named after is another one... Philadelphia Bible College was extremely racist when he was there. One of my closet friends an African American that is a Greek and Hebrew scholar graduated from there (undergrad) and he can tell you some shocking things about how he was treated. He now teaches at a high school and several seminaries part time, and is also a pastor.
The media and all independent sources have debunked though research all notions of Obama being a Muslim yet the Republican party has used fear and ignorance to convince many whites and evangelicals and Jews that Obama is a Muslim and or will be sympathetic to Muslims. I don't buy any notions of Republicans being more Christian that Democrats even though they publicly are ant gay marriage and pro life... That too is a deception and merely a political tool. It is a fact... statics show that more woman have abortions under a Republican administration than a Democratic administration because more poor women suffer more financially. Do you realize that if Bush has passed that bill on privatizing social security he was trying to pass a few years ago...that most people would have only a portion of their social security right now with this market decline? Poor and middle class people who vote Republican are being bamboozled....there is nothing to benefit us in their program. I voted for Bush like a fool because I bought into all the spin about Christian values. Bottom line is this.... you cannot legislate morality and I can not even trust Christians anymore...much less Republicans....most are all out for motives that have little to do with Christ or the betterment of society, but based on some body's face. When Palin used that racist slur "He's not one of us" I knew she had totally told out...and is hardly the sweet, christian soccer mom but a treacherous woman who will accomplish her goals by "Any means necessary". Granted these are not her words she is saying 90% of the time but old Reagan Republican "code" but as a Christian she would not be able to be a party to this if she was what she portrays herself to be.

I may not even vote this election at all. Politics as a whole is dispicable and when Christians align themselves intimately with a party we are dancing with the devil. Eventually we allknow they will turn on us....revelation clearly shows us that we will jailed and killed so why do we blindly go as mice to the slaughter. We should be set apart from teh world and our place is to win sould for Christ. If we do that the rest would fall in place.

Monday, October 6, 2008

How does Black emacipation fit in now?

I wrote an essay entitled Black People Listen To Me! that I feel good about, and it expresses my heartfelt desire to see black people come out of their struggles and rise to new levels of freedom. But Obama coming into power and throwing his monkey wrench into this situation, makes me so worried. He spells out regression. He is the source of stirring up anger and bitterness. How many black people see this?

This is what makes Palin racist?

Palin criticized Obama? So now she's a racist? Is this where things are headed? And if Obama wins what happens to my blog? Do I get censored and labeled a racist because I think his policies are poisonous? People, we are standing over a very scary precipice - a very scary precipice indeed!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's working!

I told you I was taking communion and repenting and praying for God to change my heart, to take out stone and give me flesh, to take away mercilessness, to give me love, to take away unforgiveness, to change me. In the process, I find that I am changing, and lo and behold, the pain in my arm is going away. My arm was so bad that I couldn't lift it in back to put on my bra. But now it's almost back to normal. God is good.

I was saying that my dad, who I had a hard time loving, also has pain in his arm. I wish that I could share this victory with him but I am not able to show him how to do this same thing - to go to God and appropriate Christ's work on the cross, coming in humble repentance, asking for God to change the heart, so that he can see a breakthrough and get healing. This revelation just doesn't seem to come to him.

Before You Vote...Take The Test!!

Take the Barack Obama test. See if he really has your best interests in mind. See how much you think like him.

Out of 48 questions, I answered 48 of them opposite of Obama. I think 100% opposite of Obama! I can't believe the cockamamie ideas he has! You've gotta take this test!

Local Woman Devotes Life To Doing God's Busy Work!

"I am just a vessel through which He cleans the church Tupperware," she said. See hilarious Onion article.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Man Builds Noah's Ark In Netherlands

Man Builds Noah's Ark (exact scale given in Bible)

Working Replica of Noah's Ark Opened In SCHAGEN, Netherlands . The massive central door in the side of Noah's Ark was opened the first crowd of curious townsfolk to behold the wonder. Of course, it's only a replica of the biblical Ark , built by Dutch Creationist Johan Huibers as a testament to his faith in the literal truth of the Bible. The ark is 150 cubits long, 30 cubits high and 20 cubits wide. That's two-thirds the length of a football field and as high as a three-story house. Life-size models of giraffes, elephants, lions, crocodiles, zebras, bison and other animals greet visitors as they arrive in the main hold. A contractor by trade, Huibers built the ark of cedar and pine. Biblical Scholars debate exactly what the wood used by Noah would have been.

Huibers did the work mostly with his own hands, using modern tools and with occasional help from his son Roy. Construction began in May 2005. On the uncovered top deck - not quite ready in time for the opening - will come a petting zoo, with baby lambs and chickens, and goats, and one camel.

Visitors on the first day were stunned. 'It's past comprehension', said Mary Louise Starosciak, who happened to be bicycling by with her husband while on vacation when they saw the ark looming over the local landscape.

'I knew the story of Noah, but I had no idea the boat would have been so big.' There is enough space near the keel for a 50-seat film theater where kids can watch a video that tells the story of Noah and his ark. Huibers, a Christian man, said he hopes the project will renew interest in Christianity in the Netherlands, where church going has fallen dramatically in the past 50 years.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Palin-Biden Debate

I just want to get my two cents worth in. Some anonymous commenter said that women hate Palin because they question their own value, and I couldn't disagree more. I only know that I feel pride in Palin and have a great deal of confidence in her. Instead of envy I only want to see her succeed and I trust her.

I don't care what race or gender, as long as a person has character and stands behind the things that I believe in, I will support them. And that goes for Sarah Palin.

She's beautiful and competent and real. I stand behind her 100%!

Biden has a face that Hollywood would choose to cast in a movie playing the character of a corrupt CEO. His eyes absolutely bug the living hell out of me. I can't stand to look at them or in them. His mouth is irritating too - a mouth that berates and derides and bitterly criticizes. Ugh. Why do the Dems never see how unlovely their candidates are?

Unfortunately, I think that no matter what the truth is, I think that Biden was able to appeal to Americans with his schpiel about how Bush has failed and he and Obama are going to come in and save America.

I could tell that things he said weren't true, and I had a sense that I couldn't be sure that I could trust him to stay true to the things he says, yet I don't think a lot of American's see through this.

Full transcript of the debate here.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Anonymous sends correction

Someone named "anonymous" sent me a correction to my post on Obama's troubling internet fundraising. Snopes says that it is false. I got that one from my uncle and he said it didn't come from Maureen Dowd, but I didn't realize that it was completely false. This, of course, doesn't change the fact that Obama has a name not that different from Osama, has a middle name of Hussein, was raised in Indonesia with Muslims, spent twenty years listening to a pastor who says "God damn America," has a dead, hippy mother, has an absent father living in Kenya who is a Muslim,and therefore has no strong family surrounding him, is not in the least a model American and therefore is not in the least a model president.

He ventured forth to bring light to the world

The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers

Gerard Baker (Go here to find article and watch video of Baker reading article)

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the

Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”