I said that I was taking communion and coping with sin and it was working, however, it's not so simple. I dealt with this before with sexual sin. I realize now that I am dealing once again, with a besetting sin. This is so difficult. When you come to a besetting sin, you have to be relentless. Once again I realize that what I have always done is control myself, and have been so good at control that I have missed seeing my sin. Somehow I have kept things under wrap, have concealed the sin and kept it under control, while the unforgiveness and bitterness has stayed beneath the surface.
This was my problem with sexual sin. It never raged out of control, but I never got a victory, until I got a victory through the blood of Jesus, and nothing else.
You have to be relentless, not in your self control, but in coming to Jesus and insisting that you know that the sin has not broken in your life, but that you want it to be broken. I now understand that the feelings of deadness and lifelessness inside, the dragging myself through life is because of carrying a weight of this sin.
Yet, am I able to change this? No. When you deal with besetting sin you realize that you are in a prison. There you are. You are helpless. You are in chains. You cannot free yourself. Only Jesus blood can break the chains, and it isn't happening right away and you are getting scared wondering when and if it will happen and you have to persist in faith. You must persist, you must believe. It will change. You keep taking the body and blood (any piece of bread, any piece of cracker, any sip of juice or even water will do,) and you keep relentlessly asking God to break the power of the sin, even while you know you haven't yet changed.
This really works! That's why the Word says, "if the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed!"
It's good to pray with others too, confessing your sin to them, but sometimes others don't recognize the urgency of the problem or the intensity of the problem or want to be burdened with your sense of urgency and so the only one you feel you can go to with that is God. You can do that!