Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,


You might live in Minnesota



If you're proud that your state makes the



National News 96 night search year because



International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,


You might live in Minnesota



If you have ever refused to buy something



because it's 'too spendy',


You might live in Minnesota



If your local Dairy Queen is closed



from November through March,


You might live in Minnesota



If someone in a store offers you assistance,



and they don't work there,


You might live in Minnesota



If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead,


You might live in Minnesota



If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,


You might live in Minnesota



If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,


You might live in Minnesota


If you know how to say -



Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Cloquet, Edina and Shakopee,


You might live in Minnesota



If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,


You might live in Minnesota



If vacation means going 'up north' for the weekend,


You might live in Minnesota



You measure distance in hours,


You might live in Minnesota



You know several people who have hit deer more than once,


You might live in Minnesota



You often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day



and back again,


You might live in Minnesota



You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching,


You might live in Minnesota



You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,


You might live in Minnesota



You install security lights on your house and garage



and leave both unlocked,


You might live in Minnesota



You think of the major food groups as



beer, fish, and Venison,


You might live in Minnesota


You carry jumper cables in your car,



and your girlfriend knows how to use them,


You might live in Minnesota



There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot



at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,


You might live in Minnesota .



You design your kid's Halloween costume



to fit over a snowsuit,


You might live in Minnesota



Driving is better in the winter because



the potholes are filled with snow,


You might live in Minnesota



You know all 4 seasons:



almost winter, winter, still winter,
and of course, road construction,


You might live in Minnesota



You can identify a southern or eastern accent,


You might live in Minnesota



Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer



next to your blue spruce,


You might live in Minnesota



If 'Down South' to you means Iowa,


You might live in Minnesota



You know 'a brat' is something you eat,


You might live in Minnesota



You find -10 degrees 'a little chilly',

You might live in Minnesota

4 comments:

Livingsword said...

LOL LOL

Wow sounds like bad winters…thankfully I live in Canada in a much milder climate…really…

LOL

Gabrielle Eden said...

I forget how insane we are in Minnesota. I suppose in some parts of Canada it's actually better, or am I wrong?

Helen said...

Funny story.. I used to teach second grade. I would tell them I love eating brats (no, I did not pronounce it Brahts.) The kids knew me too well. One kid in the class would always know I meant bratwurst, and the rest would nod and say "now I get it". They had my number all right.

Gabrielle Eden said...

Your teaching sounds interesting.