Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Church Chuckles

See Church Bloopers, from Go Free Now.

These are similar and come from a book called Church Chuckles. I've taken creative license and edited a little. I didn't take to the author's writing style.

*Child praying the Lord's prayer: "Our Father who does art in heaven..."

*Announcement from the pulpit: "The ladies leaving the sanctuary will have some hot buns for us after the service."

*Help wanted ad in the bulletin: Part-time secretary needed to answer church phone and give massages to the Pastor.

*"Grandma, was Noah's wife called Joan of Ark?"

*Single mother workshops have been canceled until father notice.

*Kid explaining the gospel: "Jesus used to fly on an airplane, and Pontius was the pilot!"

*This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

*Reverend Hal asked, "Do you Robert, take Melinda to be your awful wedded wife?"

*Wednesday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers' club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his study.

*We also need a few more volunteers to help with monthly potlucks due to the large members attending.

*Latecomers are asked to use the back entrance because church members are disturbed.

*A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please take care of Daddy and Mommy and my sister and brother and me. And please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."


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