Once you could only get Fruit Chews by Samba, but now there's Fruit Jews!
there’s the Hasidic Jew shaped chew with the hat and the long curls
there's the rich movie producer
there’s Marsha Schwartz, with an attitude
there’s the Jewish American Princess
there’s the rich jeweler from the Bronx
there’s the Israeli soldier
Just for those times when you are mad at a Jew!
Is it because he's too smart?
Or too rich?
Or because he's trying to steal back old territory you think belongs to someone else, or to you?
Try chewing on one of these.
The sweet, fruity taste in the shape of a Jew will make you forget about punching out that Jew, or bombing him.
And it will delight your palate!
Loved by Arabs and most Muslims!
They're Chewy, they're Jewy!
Chew on a Jew!
See what some users are saying about Fruit Jews:
"I do like them!"
"They're pretty darn good!"
So chew on a Jew today!
an Eden original fake ad, taken from Go Free Now
candy pictured from candywarehouse.com