Sunday, February 28, 2010

Video Idea

Got an idea today for a funny video about Christians deciding to evangelize - to bring other people into their faith, only their faith is this joyless, lifeless obligation to a set of rules, so when it comes down to evangelizing it's such a joke because they'e already advertised their pathetic faith and unbelievers aren't buying it, but the Christians just don't get it. They go ahead anyway with their evangelism, getting exasperated trying to "witness" ending up saying, "I just want you to have what I have" angrily, "I just want you to have the joy of the Lord" hitting someone. "If you don't you're going to Hell." To which the unbeliever replies, "those are my choices - be like you or go to Hell? I think I choose - Hell." It could be really funny. Bill Graver - this could be your next video. I got the idea from the Onion video in the post right before this - the post entitled "New Law - ha ha!"

Friday, February 26, 2010

funny story......




What does an American heritage quilt have to do with Barack Obama? Right. Nothing.

But I was at a major department store the other day and found the perfect, American heritage style quilt. It was on sale. It had old fashioned lettering all over the back, but I thought it was the Declaration Of Independence or something like that. They were also advertising that a blanket would be given to someone in need for every quilt sold. So I bought it.

I brought it home and found out that on the back was the inaugural speech of Barack Obama!!!

I returned the quilt promptly. I told them that I was the wrong person to be selling this to!

The cashier was very polite - trying to be non-partisan.

Can you even believe that?

The quilt was made back when Obama was being worshiped. Now it was half price. That didn't last long!

But really, even if it was Bush's inaugural speech, it would have been a little weird having it on the back of my quilt!

Totally weird!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

New Law - ha ha!


New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other

This post needs some explanation. My cousin said he believed it was bashing conservative Christians who protest gay marriage. This is so far from the truth.

It is bashing cold, lifeless, loveless, joyless orthodox Christianity - the kind that goes to church on Sunday, but checks out after that. And this extends to marriage that is based on fulfilling an obligation to a standard, but is joyless, passionless, lifeless - yet the nominal Christian hangs on to it anyway, out of fear. How many people do we have like that in America? They picked Minnesota, which has its fair share. Since I live in Minnesota, it's funnier to me.

Why is it so funny? I am basically an angry person. I am angry at "having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof" and sometimes you just want to say to people "give it up" - go pagan or something. Just give it up.

And when you see people in marriages where they hang on because they want to fulfill their obligation, but there is no resolution, you wish a law would come along to force them out of their marriage. Of course it's just a joke, but sometimes, you wish.......

I have people like this in my life so it hits close to home. It struck me as really funny because someone at The Onion is angry too, or seeing Christianity as an observer and saying, "no way."

The only thing that draws people to Christ is authentic, living, breathing relationships with God which are based on joy. This video just shows how Christianity can be viewed as something that falls far short.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Is it You?


Over here in the Midwest we are snowed in. Someone prayed for snow and got their prayers answered.

I'd be great in the Olympics!



If all you have to do is ride the Luge like crazy until you fly off, or ski down the hill until you fall, I'd be fantastic!!

Sign me up!!!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Skateboarding Bulldog

The English Bulldog is my favorite breed, despite the inherent problems associated with them. Here is one of them riding a skateboard - how cute!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Church Lady Bloopers

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:

"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Patrick Henry Hughes

When you see him you may think that he is retarded, but he is not - he is an intelligent young man. It's his eyes that give him that look. He is simply disabled, but has overcome in amazing ways. Watch the video to get the story!

Family

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heartbroken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."


FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company

that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss

for the rest of their lives.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

God Lives Under The Bed

This is an email sent to me:

GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED
I envy my brother, Kevin. He thinks God lives under the bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom and I stopped to listen.
"Are you there God? he asked. Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed."
I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.
He was born 30 years ago. He became mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6' 2"), there are a few ways in which he is an adult.
He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a seven-year-old and he always will.
He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Clause is the one who fills the space under our Christmas Tree every year, and that Airplanes stay up in the sky because Angels carry them.
I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? He's up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.
The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05 am, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores.
And Saturday's ! Oh the bliss of Saturday's ! That's the day my dad takes Kevin to the Airport to have a soft drink and watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destinations of each passenger inside. "That one's going to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.
And so goes the world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it is to disconnect. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth and power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they might not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others.
His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry, or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning. When he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God. I mean, to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the sincerity and the security Kevin has in his simple faith. I am almost willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap...I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances...they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things that I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence. Praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of Heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the prayers of a simple boy who believed that God lived under his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all!

LOVE QUOTE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

Where there is great love, there are always miracles. - Willa Cather

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Cat Flushing Toilet

This is so funny to me right now because I have a cat who loves to watch the toilet flush. This cat actually flushes it.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Bio-ethics - sent by Mary

This was sent in an email to me:

Now, a “surprising” new study has found that many supposedly PVS patients have reactive brains. From the story:

Many of the patients were labeled with the same grim diagnosis: “vegetative state.” Their head injuries, teams of specialists had concluded, condemned them to a netherworld — alive yet utterly devoid of any awareness of the world around them. But an international team of scientists decided to try a bold experiment using the latest technology to peek inside the minds of 54 patients to see whether, in fact, they were conscious. One by one, the men and women were placed inside advanced brain scanners as technicians gave them careful instructions: Imagine you are playing tennis. Imagine you are exploring your home, room by room. For most, the scanner showed nothing. But, shockingly, for one, then another, and another, and yet two more, the scans flashed exactly like any healthy conscious person’s would. These patients, the images clearly indicated, were living silently in their bodies, their minds apparently active. One man could even flawlessly answer detailed yes-or-no questions about his life before his trauma by activating different parts of his brain. “It was incredible.”…

“This should change the way we think about these patients,” said Nicholas D. Schiff, an associate professor of neurology and neuroscience at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City. “I think it’s going to have very broad implications.”

But it won’t. The bioethics mainstream has rejected the equality/sanctity of humanlife for the so-called quality of life ethic. It began with the odios advocacy of Joseph Fletcher in the Hasting’s Center Report back in 1972, claiming that the inability to communicate meant that one had lost humanhood (now called personhood). Thus today, not only unconscious but conscious patients are dehydrated to death in all fifty states and it is shrugged off as medical ethics.

Back to Terri: As happens every time stories like this come up, the reporter hastened to assure readers that Terri’s case was somehow “different:”

The research inevitably raised questions about patients such as Terri Schiavo, a Florida woman in a persistent vegetative state whose family dispute over whether to discontinue her care ignited a national debate over the right-to-die issue that led to congressional intervention in 2005. Schiavo’s brother, Bobby Schindler, said the new study highlights the limits of medicine to provide an accurate diagnosis. “I wish this could have been used on my sister to see what could have been done to help her,” Schindler said in a telephone interview. But Owen, Schiff and other experts stressed that the research does not indicate that many patients in vegetative states are necessarily aware or have any hope of recovery. Many, like Schiavo, have suffered much greater danger to their brains for far longer than the patients in the study. “In some cases, the damage to the brain is so severe that it is simply inconceivable they could produce any responses,” Owen said.

Perhaps, but thanks to Judge Greer’s intransigence, we will never know what her brain scan would have shown. And don’t bring up the autopsy: The report said her brain was consistent with either a PVS or minimally consciousness, and moreover, that such decisions are clinical, not subject to being decided upon autopsy.

But this is the point. Conscious or unconscious, people should not have to earn the right to receive basic sustenance. What we did to Terri Schiavo was a blight on the legal system and bioethics. Pretending otherwise won’t make that stain go away.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Exhortation

This is an email that was sent to me by a friend, author unknown:

Every now and then I imagine judgment day in heaven to realign my priorities in life. What is it that really matters in life? We know that when we get there God will talk to us about how He was hungry, poor, naked, etc. and what we did about it.

I imagine we will all soon realize just what is important in life by witnessing the lost served with a notice to an eternity in hell. I imagine it will be even sadder than watching a loved one pass away here on earth...for at least we know, sometimes, that we will see them again in heaven.

How many of us already know how self righteous we have become in our everyday lives? How many of us will repent, change and live every moment unto God from now on when considering this future? We must open our eyes to see the lost, hurting, brokenhearted, naked, poor and destitute and give them love.
Revival begins with total repentance. I believe revival will hit America soon again and will this time be more widespread than ever before. Many of the largest revivals known began with one person or a small group of people praying desperately for forgiveness for themselves and their city/nation.

You don't' have to be a celebrity to change someone's life, you just have to be willing to lay your life down for those in need...put aside your life for a moment for someone who needs you more. Who will take all of this to heart and actually do something? How great would it be if revival started as a result of sending emails like this and people got serious with God and themselves?
If you truly want to see revival in your country then it is time to get on your knees before the Lord and begin praying. Repent until there is nothing left to repent of and then still repent for your nation. Ask the Lord to move in your city and come to a place in prayer where you are desperate for Him.

Lay your life down for those around you: feed the hungry, heal the brokenhearted, lay hands on the sick, clothe the naked and give to the poor. Do not judge people but pray for them and show them the love of God. When God begins to move in your city, don’t stop or quit. Never let go of the revival when it comes.

Do not quench the fire by keeping it local, but let the fire become ablaze across your entire nation and then to the uttermost parts of the earth. The apostle Peter went from denying Christ 3 times to winning 3000 souls for Christ, the Azusa street revival, the Brownsville revival, etc all started in an upper room of prayer. What is most important in life?
~Anonymous

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Shout out to Kelly!


Kelly is from North Carolina. She found my blog through my post on thyroid healing. She has had a serious thyroid problem and needs serious prayer for healing. Let us pray for her. She just contacted me this morning and prayed the most beautiful prayer for my healing.

I hooked her up with a couple in Raleigh/Durham who have a church there, who I have stayed with. They have an awesome vision for seeing the kingdom of God advanced. I am so excited about getting them together.

Kelly has been working as a police officer, and has been involved in something in schools dealing with gangs. She is a tough lady, a warrior for Christ. Satan can't have her!

She is also an ordained minister, but hasn't been released yet to work in fulltime ministry.

The internet does bring the most wonderful contacts!