Friday, July 30, 2010

Daily Prayer For The Single Woman

Lord Jesus,
GUARD MY GOING OUT AND MY COMING IN FROM THIS DAY FORWARD (PSALM 121)

GUARD MY HEART
GUARD ME FROM THE DECEITFULNESS OF MY OWN SIN
GUARD MY TONGUE AND MY ACTIONS
GUARD ME FROM MEN AND WOMEN IN LEAGUE WITH THE FLESH AND THE DEVIL, SONS OF YOURS OR NOT
GUARD ME FROM THE TRAPS SET FOR ME
MAY I ALWAYS SEE YOU BEFORE ME - THE ONLY TRUTH
MAY I ALWAYS PRAY BEFORE I BEGIN TO WORRY OR BECOME FEARFUL
HEAL ME OF WHATEVER CAUSES ME TO SIN AND WHATEVER KEEPS ME FROM LOVE
MAY I SOMEHOW MAKE YOUR TRUTH REAL TO OTHERS AND BRING THEM INTO YOUR LOVE
BRING ME TO THOSE WHO THINK AND FEEL AS I DO ABOUT YOU!
HELP ME TO HAVE FAITH REGARDING A HUSBAND, BUT TO LIVE AS IF IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER
SURPRISE ME! HAND ME YOUR INSCRUTABLE AND HUMOROUS WAYS OF DOING THINGS, ALWAYS
LEAD ME ALWAYS BACK TO LAUGHTER
WHEN MY MIND BECOMES HOSTILE TO YOU, BRING IT BACK TO YOU
MAY I TRULY BELIEVE, BEYOND ALL I THINK, ALL I FEEL, AND ALL I SEE
AMEN

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I'm Giving Up On My Blog!

I am getting weary of my blog. When I think of a new post that tells about something that happened in my life, I think, "no one is listening."

It hasn't bothered me too much that there are very few comments, but comments would help me to connect with readers. Without them, this gets to feeling like I'm just making a journal to myself, which has value, but what is the point of it being online?

This has started to feel rather pointless.

I am beginning to give up on this project, and wondering if God has some other project for me.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

On my dad and the elderly


I am getting ready to leave for a week so I am rushed.

I just wanted to pen these thoughts about my dad who is 86 and deteriorating. My mom and I have discussed that since he is suffering, it would be best for him to "go home," and so we have prayed that God would take him.

I realized last night one of the reasons why God may not have taken him yet. It is because we are not yet ready to say goodbye. I will find it hard to say goodbye to the man who loves cats so much.

Insert: picture of my dad with my new kitten. See kitten, top right of my blog.

He had her on his lap and was petting her, and saying how much he loves cats. I was awestruck by that. He was talking about how cats are so cute. They're cuddly and soft and you love to hug them. These are reasons why cats are usually enjoyed more by women. Guys like dogs: big, strong and not necessarily as cuddly, though great companions.

But my dad's appreciation for cats, for what is true about them - they are cuddly, soft and one loves to hug a cat - shows his security in his masculinity. I sensed my mom was almost embarrassed when he said those things about cats, because it almost sounded funny coming from a man. But I think, "wow, that is so cool. He is so secure as a man he isn't afraid to say he loves to hug soft, cuddly doll-like animals, or baby-like animals."

This sent my heart out to him, and made me realize this is why he is still here, even though he is suffering. That moment of being reminded of his love for cats would have been lost if he wasn't still here. It was a special moment. It is for those special moments that an aging parent or loved one hangs on.

We can't say goodbye to a person we've known for a lifetime without plenty of special moments. I thank God for that one!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Alternative!

I've discovered an alternative to the syndrome of Sunday morning going-to-church doldrums, for the Christian looking for a challenge to his faith, and a way to grow.

Instead of looking to be fed, try finding getting fed somewhere other than a Sunday morning service (since you usually don't get fed very well there) and go looking for the unchurched who aren't going to church on Sunday morning. Imagine the possibilities - imagine the people who are out on a Sunday morning, who are searching for meaning, purpose, answers to their lives, but simply have no expectation of finding these inside a church. BE the church. Go to them! Bring Jesus to them!

I thought this morning of going to a neighborhood known for being inhabited by gay people, and looking for "clues" (prophetic evangelism.) This can be an exciting way to spend a Sunday morning, and a way to stop just being fed and start giving out what you have been given so you don't dry up from not giving.

I realized that Satan makes me think that I need so much help, so much taking in, when what I need is to give out. Sure, I will continue to need to be in the corporate worship setting, I will continue to need prayer, and to hear a good message, and to study the Word, but if I don't give Jesus away, He will become like the manna that the children of Israel hoarded and went bad.

The clue that the Lord gave me this morning was a fairly young man, in his 30s to 40s, with a crew cut, and cut off sleeves, masculine, sitting like in a coffee shop setting. Then I saw a snake wrapped around his arm. It could be more than one thing. It could be a tattoo, or it could be that the snake represents bondage to some sin problem. It could be sexual, but I don't know. I'll find out when I meet him.

Prophetic evangelism - very exciting!

The Lord was giving me clues over a period of a couple of weeks after reading Kevin Dedmon's book The Ultimate Treasure Hunt. I saw overweight people - severely overweight and heard God ask me "can you love them?"

So, I was looking for overweight people, particularly a woman who was grossly overweight in an automated chair of some kind - that's what I saw.

Time went on and I never ran into any one like this, especially the woman with the chair. Then I worked at the healing rooms yesterday, and a woman came in who was very overweight and said she had diabetes. We prayed for her, and God gave me compassion for her, especially since He had prepared me with seeing someone like her in my mind's eye.

Now I wonder if she isn't the lady with the chair. Maybe I was seeing her as she would be if the diabetes had advanced and her weight got worse.

God gives you clues and you are left to try to understand what He is trying to show you.