on this the sixteenth

I have to mourn the great human tragedy. Isn't it amazing that these bodies we have were made to be immortal?

Then humans fell. And the bodies now were not immortal but lived many years. But then humans erred greatly enough again that now a body of water once protecting the earth from the sun fell to the earth causing the great flood. Now we lived much shorter lives. And God gave us Christ so we could live again and have immortal bodies again and live in paradise. What happened now? Now humans on a large scale rejected that gift, though pretending often to have reverence for Christ. Now what? Now humans determined their own perdition and that they would be immortal though in a place of eternal torment!!

Humans are a tragedy. 

could be that some would not agree

https://photos.app.goo.gl/kgwAojwtBdmMUm4a8

changing my political views

Since that last republican win is the time in which I have had the chance to learn and understand. I've spent time in towns and cities all over the West. Some places I actually got stranded for a while bc of my car. I've spent time in republican based states like Arizona and Nevada but also plenty of time in Dem dominated California. I got to meet lots of Mormons in Utah. I've talked to people, heard stories. I have even been homeless for a time in CA.  I've spent time in the town that my dad and grandparents and sibling lived in for quite a few years in California.  

From this I gathered the particulars that allow me to make a rather healthy "Metaphysical universal." Quoting Francis Schaeffer.  

I have friends and family who are "ethnic."  

I didn't realize that they had already started to pick up on the reality of hate. Of course it was easier for them to see this.  

And there are ethnicities that I had not realized ever felt marginalized or denigrated in our society.  

This "education" has brought me far from where I stood in 2016.  

My values are the same. My value of less government. My concern for lack of value of human life. More than anything, my belief in God's design yfor our sexuality.  

But that does not determine my political stance at this time.  

I also agree with the idea of helping peopleuuvv who reach a low ebb. Maybe it has to do with homelessness. Lol. I don't agree with ideas about expectations ohqRyvrf people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. But I also, like hV, am uncomfortable with taking too much of ouryrqyvuvuvrR monryhRhqhrhRvqyqrurvRhqRvhRqhRqhRVUqVhRHvrhhrGey. But worse yet, coaxing people into aimlessness and atrophy.  

Now it is easier to live in a purple or even a blue state than a red one.  

This Hanson guy hit it square on talking about our people wanting to return to a tribal mentality. Not rivalry over one being more moral than the other. Just hatred hauhRahrQ conflict. This is staggering.uauruatua5aaytvyvatvuavtvaavaaaàuvatytvvaavyvtayvaà7yvvvvaaHut

what the Fergus falls journal will never print

Probably bc....they don't look for substance https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LgFACXiSF-5auV-ukpR_ZYfDugRkkDxuaVTDygxXepw/edit?usp=drivesdk

Books Now Removed From Print

I removed my book Glory after the cat on the book cover was killed but I edited it and created Freedom Fighter, but someone said that sounds like you are fighting freedom so I changed the name again. In all of this I changed some of what I wrote in the book Glory. But by this time I realize that so much of what I wrote has now changed. So much of what I wrote was not true because I learned what was true about so many things since writing then. 

I was still not processing some things. Some required I look back and remember how

 things actually went. 

For one, I went to college, like I hear many 18 years olds have and there someone gave me LSD.  I then had relapses that were inadequately dealt with by mental health. I got the real victory from a powerful MAN of faith who could put the devil on the run. 

From there, years later I was doing fine, but had residual annual effects from the earlier relapses, but nothing dramatic. Both a "friend" and a psycho-atrist convinced me to begin taking medicine. That medicine began to give me side effects. I never had the wisdom to avoid suddenly going off medicine until such time as God caused the miracle of a doctor, incidentally a psychiatrist, not psycho, giving me permission to go off. And then I applied wisdom to a very gradual reduction of medicine, what I never understood before. For one, without a doctor's cooperation I could not easily begin such a process which only led to getting exasperated with side effects and suddenly going off it in my exasperation.  

My doctor noticed that much time had passed without what they call "incident" but also realized I had not been on a therapeutic dosage, what they call "therapeutic" all along. Thus medicine was not doing for me what something else was. My doctor realized faith could do quite a lot. 

Thus, permission was given. I spent four years reducing dosage to no dosage. 

This is one of the truths left out. I don't think we have had mental illness in our family. We have had emotionally vulnerable types of people like my great great grandmother who spent considerable time in the state hospital in our hometown but before we we had moved there. I found out she got epilepsy from her time with a husband who grabbed her on the rebound from her first love, a man who left and never came back because he went to war, it was during the civil war. She also internalized the war. She also was a Kinney and I believe Kinney and Kennedy are the same tribe. My theory is that this tribe violated pagan beliefs with Christianity and it's never forgotten by "neo" pagans. She had so many things against her and this was one of them. 

Jesus said epilepsy is caused only by demons. He merely cast out demons to "cure" it

 But nothing was known about it at this time. Vincent van gogh also had epilepsy

 But it's cause was not known at his time either. Actually he was sort of a contemporary of my great great grandmother. And her family married the Dutch by means of her daughter Cora.

There are other "facts" that I feel got botched so I found the whole "account" not accurate. Now I have no desire to tell my story so I'm not planning to write any other account, unless God has other plans.