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Saturday, August 18, 2007

How I'm Losing My Mojo With the Opposite Sex

1. Late at night I think of my choices: would I like to be curling up next to a hot man on a couch who speaks sweet nothings in my ear, sipping White Zinfandel, or would I rather be eating toast with peanut butter and banana, petting my cat? I'm choosing the peanut butter and the cat.

2. I see women who look like men and think, "Don't make fun. You may not be far off!"

3. I'm not wearing earrings, and I didn't take a shower today.

4. I'm contemplating buying one of those big, matronly bras.

5. On Friday night I went to Olive Garden alone to take myself to dinner. I followed that by taking myself to dessert and the movie "Hairspray" after walking out on "Stardust".

6. On Saturday night I watched Wheel of Fortune with my parents and ate Pizza.

7. It's Saturday night and I'm sitting in a coffee shop on the internet.

I think you get the picture!

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