Sunday, March 29, 2009

My church situation....

I did a post called 5 things I love about my church.

Not too honest.

It's only one of my churches, and I don't love it. I mean, I love it, because I love The Church, and my heart is with them and to see them become what Christ wants them to be. But I don't like them very well, because they aren't very welcoming, and it wearies me because I have been going there a while.

About 7 years ago I was in crisis and sought that church out because a lady goes there who knows my parents from before they were married. She and her husband double dated with my parents. She is a widow now, and one of the oldest members of her church.

She is the most welcoming element of that church. She is very concerned about evangelism and shares her faith regularly.

I go to my parents' church, a dry Lutheran sect that is good on preaching the Word and has solid biblical based people in it. They have a bible school that they have started.

The only thing there is that they hold back on the Holy Spirit. Their worship is bottled up and they don't know about that threshold that you pass when you have been "baptized in the Holy Spirit," that you never return from.

So, I sought out this church that the older lady goes to. I just find them to be weird. If they are turned off by me, who they once knew to be in crisis, but now is not, how do they feel about real "cases" - people with real needs? They don't seem to be prepared to deal with such people.

Neither church seems prepared for that.

I went to another church before this run by two women. Since then I have decided that churches should not be headed by a woman. They reached out to me in crisis, but ultimately were really strange, because not only did they reach out, they put kind of a 'death hold' on me, and in order to get well emotionally and mentally, I felt that I needed to move on.

Ach! People strangle Jesus. They strangle Him and His spirit.

The very place people go to get help for all their needs, just as God would have it, they get trampled and further broken.

People, this ought not to be so!

This small charismatic church that the older lady belongs to is one that I can only handle because God has made me so much more well than I have ever been.

If I was in a bad state, if I was in crisis, I could never handle it.

What do you say blogging community?

Please pray for me - that I would find a place that welcomes me and the spiritual gifts God has given me.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you discovered this fountain of wisdom and profoundness~
http://www.padrepiodevotions.org/index.asp?pagename=wordsoffaith

sherri said...

I think it is very important that your church be a place of refuge for you.

I will pray that that happens to you and it would be evident where you belong.

Livingsword said...

I appreciate your honesty….

It seems that the Church and church are very different. Of course this is why there are so many denominations etc…one Church many flavours…

You know the saying “if you find the perfect Church don’t join you will wreck it”? LOL Well it is very true. Churches are full of broken people…most think they are quite healthy…

One of the major problem is the Church is often more concerned with churchianity than turning to Jesus and living the Jesus life…

From a male perspective much of church life is very feminine…the songs are romantic ballads (yes of course some are fine but there are sooo many) that touch the hearts of women but men are more often stirred in worship with songs that are almost like anthems following our great and glorious King…

My local Church is known in the community for being genuine and very welcoming and caring….but we also have our weaknesses…and I need look no further than myself…

Gabrielle Eden said...

Thanks anonymous - I'll look that up.

Thanks Sherri - that's the stickler - knowing that I belong. God will show me when I'm at the right church for me, and now I'm excited for the journey ahead as God opens doors to look for that.

I know there will be things I won't like, but it's not that which bothers me - it's just the gut level feeling of not being accepted.

Thanks Livingsword - interesting perspective about music. The music opens you up to worship God like nothing else. Sorry to hear that from a guy - that a man's tastes aren't appealed to. Hadn't thought about that.

I love that song by Kutless "strong tower." I imagine guys would like it because it's kind of heavy rock type of music, but it's also very divine.

I think women can enjoy music that would appeal to guys too, as I like heavy rock when it's done right. (whatever "right" is)

HIS Daughter said...

Thank you for your encouragement and kindness about my testimony blog. It's tough to do and I keep getting side tracked but as strange as this sounds, GOD is definitely holding me accountable to finishing it and telling the truth - that HE is over all things and that HE can use anyone and anything.

I know that I feel on a regular basis that I have forgiven completely those who have hurt me, however, sometimes I feel a twinge and I'm reminded that I still need HIS grace in it all, especially to pray for blessings on them and not a curse! Loving your enemies can only be done by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT...alive active power...not dead theology only.

I understand about the church thing! I left a Seeker Sensitive large church because the more I grew in GOD'S word, the more unbiblical some things seemed and then there was no nourishment for Christians to mature.

My church now is older, theologically pretty sound (at least the pastor is) and kind and loving people..but alot of the older people are extremely resistant to charismatic gifts..period.

Although lately as the pastor's wife and I have been praying, we've seen more people even just raising their hands in worship/praise.

I know the perfect place will only be in heaven...I guess the best we can find here is going to be really crowded because so many people want to go.

I'll be praying for you..I know where you are coming from.

Blessings,
Teri

Gabrielle Eden said...

Thanks so much Teri.

I know what you mean - if a place was that good, everyone would want to be there - it would be overwhelming.

That's what I've been thinking about - the feeling that people's needs are overwhelming, how do we handle them?

I know pastors who have that grace to handle huge numbers of people coming with great need, and people in missions where they are handling heart breaking and hard situations. Some kind of grace takes place to be able to do that.

I figure I represent the dealing with the bigger problems of life, and perhaps these people shy away from that, even though I actually have my problems covered elsewhere - I have counseling and help outside this church.

People are so fragile.

The truth of the situation is, this church needs ministering to it but there is a question of whether or not they will receive it.

I just get bursts of frustration where I wonder if I'm getting anywhere.

Thanks again for your understanding.

I so appreciate what you're trying to do with your blog.

Gabrielle Eden said...

Anonymous - I read Padre Pio's devotions. You lost me on the "holy mother part." I believe it is idolatry to put Mary the mother of Jesus in that position in our lives.

And as for the theology. Though I do not exactly agree with "prosperity" ministers, who seem to love money, I also am against the "poverty gospel" which says we must suffer.

Balance.

MizB said...

I know you've read my blog post about how I feel about church, so I won't go into that.

But, know that I totally know where you're coming from here, and I'll definitely be praying for you to find your church "home". ;)

It's a tough thing to do! I know!

~MizB

Gabrielle Eden said...

Thanks MizB - I have read that and appreciated that!

I know I have to keep looking, and not give up on finding a group that is willing to meet the needs of people.

At the same time I need to listen to God and let him change me.